Authentic Working Mom Took the Risk

I don't have a very good poker face. I've had to learn that being an open book isn't always in my best interest. That said, here's a story of how being an authentic working mom quite literally saved me.

I recently felt forced into a position where I had to lay my cards on the table and speak openly about how closely intertwined my personal and professional lives are. For the first time in my entire career, my commitment to the job, the company, was questioned. It was silly, simple, and yet so propelling.

I received a request to move a standing meeting without any context. Thanks to Outlook scheduler, I was able to look ahead and see no new standing conflict so I rejected the request. Unfortunately, I once again received the request to schedule at a new time. A fateful time, when I am typically driving my daughter to an activity. I accepted the new time but noted, in writing, that once fall activities started that time would be difficult as I couldn't really focus on the meeting from the road. I'll spare you details, just know this led to the questioning. I was told, point blank, that it appeared work wasn't my top priority.

I knew the "right" answer was probably along the lines of "you're right, I'm sorry, let me show you I am fully committed."

I am a highly involved mother. I am a career woman. Each of those jobs is challenging in its own right. I work really hard to do them each as best as possible given they both exist simultaneously and perfection in either would be a fool's errand.

I ensure the scales remain calibrated by regularly asking my family, colleagues, and clients questions.

"How am I doing?"

"Any concerns?"

"If there was one thing you wished I had done differently last week, what would it be?"

"If it was up to you, how should I be showing up over the next month or so to make sure you feel supported?"

Side note: It would be a fun game to try to match each question to the person surveyed. Children? Colleague? Client? Boss?

Anyhoo, I am not independently wealthy and moving suddenly to a different income bracket would be the same challenge for our family as it would be for most so being faced with the question of whether I am 100% committed to my job felt, even if not the inquirer's intent, like being asked whether I wanted to remain employed.

I know my truth was not the right answer. There have been plenty of instances since I spoke it to remind me that my truth was not the right answer (for that boss; for that company).

So what is my truth? No. No, I am not 100% committed to my job. Universal truths apply to me too. I only have 168 hours each week. There's no way in hell, especially as I believe I could actually end up in hell, I'm giving all of those hours (100%) to someone else's passive income.

Here's another truth there is no denying. I will bust my butt to give whatever I'm doing, in that moment, 100%. So, the corollary? No. I don't want to do that meeting while I'm driving. I want to get my daughter to her activity safely. I want to have our meeting before or after and make sure I'm actually listening to you and capable of focusing on how I can move the company objectives forward.

I spoke these truths. Directly. Politely. To my boss. Do you know what happened next? I couldn't unsee it. It was solidified in my mind. All feedback received to date, from children, colleagues, clients, trended positively. My heart swelled. My gut relaxed. I said who I was and the world didn't collapse.

In fact, the universe decided to send me a nod.

Within the week I got an unexpected call from a former colleague. Are you interested in this job? We would love to have you.

I have now had the privilege of peeking behind the curtain. It appears that when I caught up with some former co-workers (not the one who called) they saw the subtitles on my face and when the position opened up, spoke the suggestion out loud: "What about Miry?"

Enough about Miry. What about you?! What truth are you keeping back there? What have you been afraid to speak? Share in the comments or... just sit with it for a minute. Visualize it. After all, your body hears what your brain thinks and maybe that's enough!