Present pressure

Today's strawberry festival was a fail. Forget the girl math that convinced me the entrance fee(×5) was "worth it." My children were clearly unprepared for the pop quiz I would choose to present them with. And the failure probably taught me more than it taught them. Also...spoiler alert...i got not one strawberry. Not from publix earlier in the day (thought I'd get some at the festival) and not at the festival...

As usual, the second I walked onto the festival grounds my children started asking to buy things. Could this be because they are constantly witnessing the arrival of amazon packages and they can't tell the difference between a vitamin refill and another, likely unnecessary, object? Maybe. Could it be because not long after I walked in I bought my husband a homemade dry "sofrito" from a mom & pop shop? Maybe. Could it be because I once told them a "souvenir" was a trinket to remember something by and now, like good little 1/3-Cubans they're exaggerating? Maybe. I wasn't thinking about it too deeply just yet.

We moved onward with simple "no"s and slightly more evasive "maybe" (ies) all the way to the free bounce houses. Then they spotted the bungee cords. $10/kid. Irrationally, I saw an amazing opportunity to provide them with freedom of choice while encouraging the "right" answer (Hint: experiences over material things). I announced: "ok, kiddos. Here's the deal. You have a budget of $10. Use it here or elsewhere but i strongly advise you go with this cool and new experience." Our son didn't take but a second, "Awesome! I know what toy I'm going to buy."

And then...bungees on, both girls ready to go, baby girl, A: "No! I don't want to! I really want a toy!" Followed by her 4-year-old shadow "I don't want to either!"

Me, to myself: goodness! Fine. Get off. But I'm not asking these men for a refund. Darn, it! No lesson learned. Not one. I learned later that while I was dealing with a screaming 5-year-old the men had given Nick a refund. Pity for her or pity for me or just plain old decency, I'll never know.

Well, I learned a lesson or two alright. First and foremost, the time we have to influence our kids' behavior through example passes more quickly than we want to believe. The window is so short in fact, that I fear mine is already closing and baby girl, A won't be six for another two months. I felt the literal weight of that realization when I regrettably told her, in the middle of a tantrum, that she could either walk to the car or I would carry her. Let me tell you, I'll think twice before going there again, even if I finally got some serious cardio in.

But more importantly, I was reminded, and shared with the children, that we are blessed to have so much "extra," above and beyond what we NEED in our lives. It's that excess that can lead us to lose sight of what matters. It's when we have the most that we seem predisposed to forget our humanity, elevate our needs above our sisters', and find reason to fight for an extravagant amount of more.

Well, not in our house. No more. We will take pictures; not buy souvenirs. We will donate more; not amass material things. That pressure, to return to being content with what we already have, is the only pressure I'm presently allowing myself to feel.