Guns & Kids & The Constitution...oh my!

The first time I saw a real gun it was nested in a beautiful wooden box held out for me to see by a retired CIA agent who at the time was in his late 60s. He was my father's boss, later mentor, and now friend. My dad gave him a sideways look and asked him to put it away before I really had time to realize what was happening; I was around 9 years old.

Between this experience and my next experience, my high school sweetheart would call me from Virgina Tech to let me know he was okay but there was a shooter on campus.

The second time I saw a real gun it was held out for me to touch and hold by the one true friend I made in law school. A woman who I admire deeply. She was, and still is, intelligent, sweet, hardworking, honest, courageous and I suppose, in retrospect, significantly closer to the "conservative" label than I was or am. Maybe she thought it was funny that I thought guns did not have a place in the home depite the fact that I was a fierce believer in our constitution and justice system. I can't really recall the context in which she showed me her gun and introduced me to the shocking idea that people I loved and admired could be amazing people and yet, have guns in the home for protection.

Introducing: my husband. He's owned some guns since before we met. He enjoys practicing his marksmanship. We spent many hours of our engagement in conversation about guns, risks, responsibilities, rationale for ownership, need, and...oh my goodness, control. Some of these, most of them, still ongoing, at times with more ferver than others. I must have reached a place where I sincerely agreed to disagree because, sometime before we had children, we got a safe and, for his wedding present, I tracked down and bought back the first .22 rifle he ever owned (a gift from his dad when he was around 13). I have even joined him at the range a few times.

Fast forward: I'm a mom of 3, godmother and aunt of 2, an aunt to 2 (soon to be 3) nieces and 2 nephews and a friend, neighbor and teacher to many more children. I have a friend whose daughter was at Parkland on the day of the shooting there a few years ago and my children are reaching school age. I am homeschooling. There are good reasons and not so great reasons influencing my decision. More on this later. One reason I'm less proud of, is my fear of school shootings and everything that comes with them. I don't want my children's first introduction to such a powerful "tool," easily used as a "weapon," to be in the same place where they need to feel safe in order to thrive. I can't imagine myself going through the guilt-ridden thoughts that some parents of school shooting victims have shared. This fear-based reason for homeschooling, along with knowing it's a great privelege to even have that choice without having to sacrifice financial status, often makes my heart heavy. I know homeschooling doesn't make my family bullet proof and that mass shootings have happened literally everywhere from churches to grocery stores. Nevertheless, while I know homeschooling is what's right for us for now... what of the other children? What of my nieces and nephews, neighbors, friends, students?

Something must be done and, as usual with the important stuff, it's complicated. To me, personally, and to my husband as well, it is maddening that come July 1st, Floridians will be able to carry a firearm without a permit. I don't consider this a political issue. This is a safety issue. I feel so strongly that, as a mother and a patriot, I must fight for our children's unalienable right to Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

How? By acting sensically. We should all want to keep our 2nd Amendment rights but we should be just as feverishly willing to work for it. Background checks, permits, waiting periods, parental accountability...nothing is perfect but they sure are better than doing nothing. And for those of us who may be full-on or somewhat-religious, doing something, should feel consistent with how owning weapons appears to be treated in the bible. It's not to be taken lightly and it's not for everyone.

"'All things are lawful,' but not all things are beneficial. 'All things are lawful,' but not all things build up." - 1 Corinthians 10:23 (New Revised Standard Version)

So what do I do? I receive and act on text messages from Everytown for Gun Safety Sometimes that means calling my congressional representatives or senators (state and federal), sometimes it means signing a petition or taking a sruvey so they understand what's important to me, sometimes it means giving $20 and sometimes giving $100. I also hear myself saying things like "do not point a gun at a person, ever!" while allowing my "kids to be kids" and play "cops and robbers." And last but not least, I try to plant seeds of love: "Do you really have to shoot the bad guy? He has a mother, father, brother and sister, too!"

Do you feel called to do something? What do you do?