Unmet Needs

It's been a while! I got buried in the work. The legal work. The momma work. The health work. The house work. I didn't do it all with a smile all the time, but I was somewhat content through some of it. I recognized it was, all of it, priority work as it was getting done. And yet, I missed this.

The wind-down. The processing. The regrouping.

A very upset friend once told me, angry tears in her eyes, about a male supervisor who had basically challenged her determination to have it all, insinuating she should choose one or the other. Career woman or quintessential mom. I've spent seven years watching this woman prove that man wrong beautifully.

I realize that, in some ways, I too have been proving that man wrong. But I recognize there was some wisdom behind his ill-delivered and unsolicited musings. We might be able to do anything, but we can't possibly do everything and, perhaps, we shouldn't even try. There's a great personal cost to doing otherwise.

How often do I sleep less than I need so I can finish that last contract, or finally clean that bathroom, or drag myself to the gym? How often, especially after a week with more than a couple of those days, do I treat my kids, my husband, my parents, my friends, less gracefully than they deserve? What would be different if I slept as necessary? If I took a nap instead of another cup of coffee when I was feeling tired in the middle of the day? Especially when little L is screaming for a nap buddy.

Would my children reflect a better version of me? Would I finally right the balance of the frequency with which I say "yes" instead of "no"? In the words of Encanto's Luisa, would "that free some room up for joy or relaxation, or simple pleasure?" I think so. Only in the aftermath of those rare moments when I listen to myself, and meet my own basic needs, do I see, really see, and enjoy the good things in life.

A foggy, late fall sunrise.

A six year old's attempt at quickly completing a story-telling assignment so he can meet his own need of getting out to play.

A four year old's innocent lament for veterans' passing "fighting for a country" that "we could have shared."